Learn to Smile
by Captain Sway
Summary: Gibbs held his disbelief at DiNozzo’s confusion at bay and casually said, “Yeah, smile. You do know how to smile right?”


Learn to Smile

By: Captain Sway

Fandom: NCIS

Characters: Anthony DiNozzo, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Chris Pacci

Pairing: Tony/Gibbs

Status: Complete; Unbetad

AN: Alright… so, while slash isn't my cup of tea, I honestly couldn't think of any way to make this work otherwise. Well, I could, but it wouldn't have worked in my head that way. I like thinking that Tony's play boy image is a mask, but what if there was a different dynamic to Tony and Gibbs besides just Gibbs seeing past the mask? That's what basically started this plot bunny. Also, when I started thinking about it, it eventually wormed its way into canon inside my head. Like, how when Ducky tells Tony that Gibbs used to be a lot like him when he was younger, that was something that Tony should've been excited about, yet he didn't really dwell on it. And the fact that I don't like Gibbs putting Tony down all the time in the show, I had to come up for a reason for that! So uh… please… read so you can make sense of this before I start babbling, lol. Don't mind my grammar mistakes; I'm fond of my commas. D:

AN: EDIT - 11-11-09. Yeah, it's been a while, but I was randomly rereading this story and decided that I needed to fix up my bloody grammar a bit.

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NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs heard his front door open. He was down in the basement putting the finishing touches on a chair he was making, he had trashed his third boat a couple years before due to his third bad divorce. After his team members got transferred out of the team due to aspirations and complications Gibbs never felt the need to build another boat, perhaps until now.

He didn't know who it was that would be walking to the basement door, so he took another swig of his drink and continued to coat the chair. What he was going to do with it he didn't know, he already had more than enough scattered around his dining room table, but hey, what's one more? It was therapeutic and he needed the wood work to get by. He was just getting over a bad murder case from Baltimore where he met his newest team member, the man who, he found, was currently standing at the bottom of his basement stairs.

Gibbs didn't do much more than glance at him and continued to work on the chair. He could feel the previous-Detective Anthony DiNozzo's eyes on his back as he waited for the younger man to get to the reason why he was hours away from home in his new employer's basement. He was pleased with the younger man during the course of the case and after some head butting with Director Tom Morrow he was finally able to choose who he wanted on his team, for the dynamic he wanted. DiNozzo seemed to project a cold air, but Gibbs could tell he was in fact a humourous, but misunderstood man. He seemed to be on the outside looking in with his department back in Baltimore, even though he was a brilliant young man with an out-of-the-box mind that ended up putting the pieces together to solve the case.

He seemed to have a bit of an anger issue, clamming up and speaking in bitter tones whenever his captain or partner would say something insulting to him. It seemed like they couldn't get him out of their sights quick enough when they offered him up as liaison to Gibbs during the case. With only Chris Pacci as backup, Gibbs was kind of relieved, though still pretending to be furious about having to share jurisdiction with assholes who wouldn't even put the time and effort into finding who killed the marine. DiNozzo proved himself worthy, working day and night and finding the leads that brought the killer to justice. Pacci seemed like he was a little nervous working with, what he muttered, 'two bastards', but he had already been able to keep up with Gibbs, though as per his wishes, not on a regular basis. Once DiNozzo gets up to speed, Pacci would be leading his own team.

"I need advice," DiNozzo's voice broke through Gibbs' reverie and Gibbs finally stopped his paint brush and turned to him. Gibbs simply looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I want to change," DiNozzo said seriously.

"You're already moving to DC to work at a federal agency. Seems like a lot of change to me," Gibbs calmly told him.

"Not what I meant," DiNozzo sighed and sat down on the bottom step. "My attitude. The way I act. The way people perceive me. I don't want to be the cold hearted prick that people think they see."

Gibbs watched the younger man with understanding. Even though he could tell when the man was joking, he knew that others couldn't. DiNozzo never smiled once in the time that he knew the detective. Sure, by reading his eyes, which would light up whenever he made a quip, or the small wiggle in his eyebrows when he's being sarcastic, you could tell what the other man intended completely. However, Gibbs knew that most people didn't look at that, simply taking everything DiNozzo said at face value rather than looking deeper.

"How do you think you really are?" Gibbs asked DiNozzo.

The younger man wiped a hand across his face. He thought for a second and then looked Gibbs in the eye. "I'm a funny man, who doesn't know how make people realize he's joking. I'm kind and caring, but people don't see that as they don't really ever come to me with their problems. They think I'm mean, taking my jokes to heart, when they don't realize that what they say, I take to heart myself. I have a bit of an anger issue, but I try not to show it too much. I work hard at what I do, but people tend to think I'm a slacker when I get my work done early, therefore lazing around a lot of the time. I like my job, but I find it hard to find the right people to stay with, which ended up with me leaving two departments."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at that. With some of the research that he had done on DiNozzo, he found that the cop had worked in three departments: Peoria, Illinois; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; and Baltimore, Maryland. He had only stuck two years in the first and last, with only eighteen months in Philly.

DiNozzo seemed to catch that disbelief as he hurried to explain, "Philly was due to extenuating circumstances. Undercover gone wrong." Gibbs nodded his belief, suddenly remembering a blurb about that. Philly was the one department where his superiors didn't have anything wrong to say about DiNozzo's attitude, just that they were sad to see him go.

DiNozzo sighed softly, "I just don't know how to change."

Gibbs looked at the man with narrowed, thoughtful eyes. He agreed with everything that the younger man said about himself, though he wished that he didn't put himself down after every single trait. He then asked, "Why do you want to change? It's not like everyone sees you in the slacker, bastard light."

DiNozzo gave a small snort, "If I'm going to work with you Gibbs, we don't need two bastards on the team. No one would ever approach us." Gibbs gave a small grin at that, noticing the slight lift in DiNozzo's eyebrows and small crinkling around his eyes. However, there was no smile. Gibbs noticed that and decided that was the ticket.

"How about you smile?" he asked DiNozzo nonchalantly.

DiNozzo tilted his head a bit and looked confused. "Smile?"

Gibbs held his disbelief at DiNozzo's confusion at bay and casually said, "Yeah, smile. You do know how to smile right?"

"Yeah, I do, but it rarely happens."

"Well, when are those rare occasions when you do smile?"

"When I'm undercover and I have to… or when I'm in love," DiNozzo somehow managed to say it casually and thoughtfully at the same time.

Gibbs thought for a second and looked DiNozzo in the eyes again. He had an idea that may work. "Well, how about you pretend you're undercover, as a frat boy who enjoys partying and is in love with life? Work with that and say your bastard comment again."

DiNozzo looked inquisitive for a moment and then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes again and said with a wide grin and exaggerated waggles of his eyebrows, "Well, Gibbs, if I'm going to work with you, we definitely don't need two bastards on the team. No one would be able to approach us!" Another blink and the smile was gone and DiNozzo gave a small shudder, "That was weird."

"That was good," Gibbs praised him with how quickly he slipped into the role. DiNozzo waved his hand as if dismissing it.

"Nah, just was in a frat. I got inspiration from my brothers. They were real partiers."

"And you weren't?"

"Well, sometimes, with a couple of my brothers. That was another way to get me to smile: getting me completely drunk. I was one of the best beer bongers when they got me going," Gibbs could see DiNozzo's eyes smiling as he said this. He snorted and shook his head a little.

"Then you know what you're doing. Keep up that persona and people won't think of you as they do now." Gibbs turned and made a small swipe on his chair.

DiNozzo fidgeted and Gibbs knew the conversation wasn't over. He turned back and faced DiNozzo again.

"What if I can't keep the persona up?" DiNozzo asked softly. "I'm still a bit of an angry person. What if one thing that someone says about me when I'm trying to keep up my persona sets me off? Makes me lose the mask that I've put on?"

Gibbs thought about it. "Whenever someone says something to piss you off, just smile and laugh it off. It is easier that way. If you want to, I can make a jab at you every once and a while to make sure you still have it in place."

DiNozzo looked down and shyly looked back up at Gibbs. "As long as you don't mean what you say. I'm trusting you here Gibbs, please don't mean what you say."

Gibbs already figured from the beginning of this conversation that DiNozzo was a bit insecure, but now he saw the depth of it. He wondered for a moment on how many people betrayed this man's trust before nodding surely and looking DiNozzo in the eyes. "I won't mean what I say. I already think highly of you or I wouldn't have given you the time of day. And that I mean. Unless you're out of line whatever I say won't mean a thing."

DiNozzo looked straight into Gibbs' eyes for what seemed like a long minute. He slowly started nodding and then looked away. Gibbs still stared at him, sensing something else was bothering him.

"What if I fall too deep into the persona? Into the rich boy, devil may care attitude and can't get out of it to do my work? Others may not like the way I am now, but I don't want to lose who I am completely. I have a tendency to do that while undercover."

Gibbs gave a small smirk at that and immediately came up with a solution. "Don't worry, DiNozzo. I have my methods."

DiNozzo looked slightly worried and glared at Gibbs with narrowed eyes. "What if I don't like your methods?"

Gibbs put down the paintbrush and walked over to DiNozzo. He stood in front of the sitting man and gave him a small glare. He raised his hand, pointed one finger in front of DiNozzo's face, then reached the hand around and smacked him on the back of his head. DiNozzo flinched and raised his own hand to his head and looked up at Gibbs with wide eyes.

"Don't like my methods DiNozzo? Too bad, you work for me now." Gibbs gave a small smirk and then walked back to his stool by the chair. DiNozzo was still looking at his with wide eyes, one hand on the back of his head. Gibbs sat down and raised an eyebrow once again at DiNozzo's silence. He knew it wasn't that hard, only hard enough to sting a bit. 'A wake-up call,' his mentor called it. DiNozzo looked back down at the floor, still touching his head, as if to trap the head smack there. Finally, after several minutes and no talking, Gibbs started to feel a bit concerned. "What is it DiNozzo?" he asked gruffly, trying to wheedle out the concern in his voice.

"You touched me," DiNozzo said, as if in awe. Gibbs gave a small frown at that. 'Touched'? Not 'smacked'?

"Yeah?" Gibbs said, shrugging a bit.

"I can count on one hand the number of people who touched me." DiNozzo said, still looking at the floor. He quickly looked up and explained in a rush. "Well, I mean, there have been a number of people who touched me, but only if it was sexual or necessary, not because it was when they wanted to. Outside of sex, of course."

Gibbs looked at DiNozzo in quiet amusement and then turned his brief grin into a frown. Really? He could count the number of people who ever gave him a sign of affection on one hand? While Gibbs wasn't into breaking his personal bubble, he still gave friends hugs, handshakes, slaps on the backs whenever they deserved it. Hell, even his forensic scientist would receive a kiss on the cheek from him every once in a while. "What, only five people – less? – have shown you affection?" Gibbs asked, bordering on incredulous.

"Yeah…," DiNozzo said. "My mother went a bit insane before the end, but she was a very loving person. My coach was like a father to me, comforting when need be, supporting me through high school and college. He died three years after I graduated. I'm just happy he got to see me graduate from the academy. A couple of my frat brothers never really understood me, but they accepted me for who I am, and I'm grateful for that. They're my best friends who will support me no matter what I do."

Gibbs frowned a bit and questioned, "What about your father? Wasn't he ever there for you?"

DiNozzo's eyes hardened a bit and he bit out a bitter, "No."

Gibbs decided to store that away for later. It was probably best to leave it for now. "You should get used to the bubble invasion, my support group is very touchy feely." DiNozzo at least gave a small snort at that. "How about a lover; have you ever been in love?"

"Once upon a time I thought I did, but I'm sure it can truly happen," DiNozzo said and looked at Gibbs and gave him a very soft, very shy upturn of the corners of his mouth. That's when Gibbs realized, this is his true smile. He was shocked and excited. He couldn't do anything but grin back with his own small smile. He already realized that DiNozzo – Tony, as he preferred to be called – was an attractive man; anyone with eyes could see that. But with that small smile, Gibbs could see Anthony DiNozzo in all his light, in his attractiveness, his love. Love. That's when Gibbs realized he could love this insecure, cold fronted, yet absolutely pure hearted man. Ever since his first wife died, he tried to replace her with substitutes that never really worked out. Yet, this man came to Gibbs for advice, came to Gibbs to better himself. Sure, he had a fling with a subordinate once and maybe an occasional man, but never since Shannon had he felt this stir in his chest.

Gibbs was used to people laying their hearts in front of him, but something about Tony made him want to take him in his arms and never let him go. That smile, that man, that love made him unable to ever let Tony go. From his heart, shared with Shannon and his dead daughter Kelly and from his team where he knew DiNozzo would flourish. He didn't even realize he was on his knees, holding Tony until Tony pecked him on the cheek with his usual shyness.

"Thank you," Tony whispered and Gibbs smiled.

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Special Agent Chris Pacci returned to his temporary desk in the Major Crime Response Team section of the bullpen. In two weeks, after the newly minted Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo settled down, he would be running his own team. He was already impressed with DiNozzo's capability in handling Gibbs, but he thought it was because Tony was a lot like Gibbs himself without the gruff attitude.

He looked across the gap between their desks and saw DiNozzo on the phone, talking softly into the receiver. DiNozzo was a young man, just about thirty years old, who seemed to project a cold demeanor. Pacci wondered if that was how he always acted or if it was for show. He could understand the coldness DiNozzo gave the Baltimore Police Department. His partner and captain were complete assholes. Right now, they were tying up loose ends on the murder case from when they met DiNozzo and Pacci was sort of hoping for another chance to see the former detective interacting with Gibbs again.

As if by magic, Gibbs strolled back into the bullpen with his usual cup of coffee that Pacci came to associate with Gibbs' supposedly 'good' moods.

"Hey boss, got one for me?" Tony asked with a big grin on his face. Pacci swung his gaze back to DiNozzo with a shocked look on his face. When did that man smile? And asking Gibbs for coffee? Blasphemy!

Gibbs just gave DiNozzo his patented glare and walked to his desk, "What do you got for me?"

DiNozzo strolled over to Gibbs' desk and started talking, almost completely serious. "Well, boss, it seems that we recovered some of Kerns' antiques that little miss Sheryl pawned off. We're still looking for her other victims' possessions. I don't even understand why anyone would want to be her sugar daddy; she wasn't even all that attractive when you actually looked at her. I mean, would you would want to be her sugar daddy?" DiNozzo flashed Gibbs a mischievous smile and raised his eyebrows.

"Only for redheads, DiNozzo," Gibbs shot back at Tony.

DiNozzo frowned for a second and then smiled, "Of course not, I mean, you and your redheads, boss. Though with your previous marriages, I don't think you can be a sugar daddy. I mean, I know my father still makes the moolah so he can pay off his fifth wife, but with your pay I'm not sure you could manage paying off another woman." DiNozzo frowned again, looking thoughtful. "I'm not even sure with my pay I could be a sugar daddy – Yikes!"

DiNozzo's head shot forward as Gibbs hand connected with the back of it. DiNozzo flinched and through clenched teeth, "Yes boss, thank you boss." Gibbs turned back to his desk and Pacci could see a small smirk forming.

Pacci couldn't believe what he just saw. In five minutes, DiNozzo managed to completely throw his view of the new team upside down. Throughout DiNozzo's sugar daddy rant, he could only stare in disbelief at what the man was saying. And not only that, but Gibbs smacked him? He couldn't recall Gibbs ever smacking another person like that with such affection. And smiling? Gibbs? Yeah, sure, he saw the man smile, but not after someone rambled like that… Well, maybe Abby Sciuto, the forensic scientist, but anyone patient enough would smile at her when she babbled.

Huh… this is going to be an interesting two weeks.

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After the wrap up was complete and work was done, Gibbs took Tony home for dinner. To show his appreciation for a successful first day at the new job, Tony insisted on making dinner. Gibbs shouldn't have been, but still was pretty astonished at how well Tony could cook. Gibbs already knew he loved the man, but wanted to get to know him better. Before, with Shannon, it took years before they got married. He almost wanted to keep the same pace with Tony, if he could. After dinner, Gibbs insisted on doing the dishes while Tony watched from the dinner table on Gibbs' newly finished chair which he claimed as his own.

Gibbs mused about the first day. Doctor Donald "Ducky" Mallard, NCIS' medical examiner, had already met Tony when they worked in Baltimore. Tony seemed to listen with interest to the ME's stories, only interrupting when there was pertinent information to be questioned or said. Ducky didn't begrudge him the interruptions and was actually pleased that Tony got that far in his story before the fact. He was pleasantly surprised about the change in Tony's demeanor, but didn't say or do anything besides lifting his eyebrows in Gibbs' direction.

Abby, their gothic scientist was juiced up on too many of her caffeine drinks and was lamenting the transfer of the previous member, Stan Burley. However, after Tony started babbling about how the gothic style was one of his favorites, Gibbs smacked him to get him back on track. Abby went from confused and annoyed to sympathetic and benevolent, chastising Gibbs for hurting a poor innocent. Tony just laughed and said it was alright, that it was a 'love tap'.

Tony had explained later, in the elevator back up to the bullpen, that he fell in love with Gibbs the moment he smacked him. Gibbs thought it was a bit twisted, but after remembering what Tony said before, he realized he could appreciate it.

Gibbs wiped off his hands clean of water and walked over to Tony. He wrapped his arms around Tony's shoulders and gave him a smile. Tony replied with his own soft smile and Gibbs felt his heart burn with a pleasant ache.

He thought, 'He even says 'I love you' with his eyes. And with that smile, the love is just for me.'


End file.
